Weird/Odd/Interesting Jobs

So (I do use this word a tad much, huh?) I am seated in the house and my very stupid interesting neighbour comes in. I may have promised not to blog about him again but eeeeh (if I disappear you know who to blame) it is a risk I am willing to take *insert Grenade-Bruno Mars* So now, he comes in (mind, we have not seen each other in over 2 weeks) and he does not even bother with the annoying common courtesies. "I have found my calling. I will be a mortician." Yes. He wants to work with dead people. As usual, I make the mistake of entertaining him and ask why. "Because. I can sleep on the job and no-one would know. Just cover myself and they think I am dead." Hahaha, I wanted to scorn him but I could see why he was thinking such idiotic preposterous thoughts. That boy is lazy. Anyway, this got me thinking about jobs, careers, if you may. And I came up with a list of jobs I think would be interesting. You would be shocked at what people are willing to do. We are all insane I tell you, insane! Just look at this guy :o

1. Professional Shopper
Are you kidding me? This is like everyone's, every girl's (and gay's) DREAM job. Getting paid to shop till you drop. That would be the ultimate job for me, seeing as I am a bit of a shopaholic. It actually sounds too good to be true. Which reminds me of 'Hung' (if you have not watched this series I would recommend it). It has such a cool story line... I will not tell but if you are a pervert then this is the series for you (I am not one, I just think the plot is UNIQUE :-D) So, anyway, I do not remember how this all started........ Oh wait, yea I do :) In that series, there is a professional shopper and I would kill to be in her place. I mean, how cool is it to wake up in the morning and head straight to the mall all in the name of going to work. One word......... RADICAL (I sound white, don't I?)

2. Artist (painter)
Yes, this is also too cool. Why? Well....... Because. All I have to do is sit around my studio house and play with paint *sly smile* I can sleep all day then wake up late in the afternoon and just throw colours randomly on the canvas and voila. I am a genius. I have come up with a work of art. All I have to do now is convince people that it is some deep, meaningful shit production that captures the very essence of whatever it is they want it to. Then laugh my ass posterior off behind their backs while rolling in money :-D Another reason why this would be interesting is because artists are mostly considered 'tortured souls'. So by being one, I have a free pass to act irrationally and insult be mean to people without being questioned. I can do whatever I want and blame it all on my intense, artistic mind. Hello FREEDOM.

3. Parapsychologist
Okay, for the dumb not so intelligent ones. this is a person who tries to prove the existence of freaky extraordinary abilities like reading minds, moving things with mental will power and seeing things with your mind's (cookoo) eye from hundreds of miles away (Matilda, hahahaha) Yes, these people exist. I would like to do this simply to mess around with people. I would fix the entire process and make a very ordinary person think they are Nostradamus :-D Hahahaha, I know you are thinking "How mean!", but trust me, you would probably do the very same thing. I mean, who does not like messing with people? Not because we mean any harm but just for the damn sake of it. It is fun....... Until someone is in real danger of going mad or worse. Then it becomes wait for it.... wait for it..... HILARIOUS.

4. Whiskey Ambassador
Yes drunks and alcoholics. There is such a career. Your work is to choose only the finest whiskeys and teach your clients the proper way to taste and admire the different attributes which this delicious liquor can posses. On the real, this is probably every 18-29 year old's dream job. Wake up in the morning and head straight to the office (okay, wherever it is done) and start drinking up. One, okay two words, SIGN ME UP (so maybe they are three :p) But I wonder, do they provide medical cover? Like for my liver maybe? But aaaah, who cares? Even if I die, I probably had more fun in my short life than most people :-D

5. Odd Job Journalist
Hahahaha, this may sound like a joke but just know that as you laugh someone is making a living out of it. Her his (I stand corrected because I am sure a only a man would do such a stupid job) is to write articles about other weird and odd jobs that exist (irony of the highest order). And get paid for it! Okay, so I am sure you are wondering why I would like to do this, right? Right? (I thought we were past this *sigh*) Actually, I would not. The only reason it made it onto this list is because I think it is hilarious as fuck hell, I mean, seriously? Writing about weird and odd jobs? Well, let's hope that someday he will find a real job of his own. But then again, wait a minute.....

Yea, I pretty much have to wrap it up there but I have another list of more bizzare jobs. Hahaha, the world is funny. People are funny. Everything is funny. Okay, I am just rumbling now so I am off. I need some coffee in my system if I am to keep my eyes open. Which reminds me, there was a time I was so addicted to coffee that if I did not have my morning cup I would literally shake (my hands). Like someone who is in rehab. But I got over it. Okay, I do not know why I am telling you all this so lemmi stop before I embarrass myself like this guy (I can see y'all judging me already) :/

Okay, this is me now.

As I sign out, booyah!