Types of Women? Maybe

"Whenever you need me, whenever you want me, you know you can call me, I'll be there shortly.......... Whenever you call baby I roll up." Ah, I have been listening to Wiz Khalifa a bit too much lately *sigh*

Anyway, today I am as blank as a printing paper. Seriously, I have close to nothing going on in here (okay, there are some things but not worth writing about). I am only blogging because I feel obliged to bless you with my brilliance. I kid, I kid. But seriously, I am only doing this because I have nothing better to do. Today is just one of those days when you feel you have absolutely nothing to contribute to society :/

So in keeping with my lazy tune today, I will plagiarize. Okay, not really because I have been given permiss.........Ah, why am I explaining myself? All you need to know is that the following is not by yours faithfully :)

So anyway, here goes.

There are three (3) types of women according to men’s perspective.

1. HOUSEWIVES

Advantages

* She stays home and takes care of kids and household chores.

* She is always good in bed because she is never tired.

* Will always cook a good meal (NO MacDonald).

Disadvantages

* You will never know what she does when you are at work.

* She behaves like your mother when you come home late.

* She bitches when you watch TV too long.

* You can’t play your music loud.

2. PROFESSIONAL / MILLENNIUM / WORKING – LADIES

Advantages

* SHE DOES NOT NEED YOUR MONEY.

* She can lend you her car (latest model BMW/Volvo). You can boast to your friends that you have a connected chick!! Pssst!! —You can even date other women with her car!!!

* She has a credit and petrol card for you when you are down and out.

Disadvantages

* She is generally BAD IN BED. Its either she is too tired or doesn’t just feel like it (…and u wonder why we keep more than one of those at a time)

* You’ll have take-away for dinner 6 times a week (AT LEAST!!)

* She thinks she owns you; more than your mother does sometimes.

* She hates your friends; you can’t even go to the stadium once a month.

* She always tells you to get a better job, car, house etc. (the list goes on, COZ SHE MOST LIKELY EARNS MORE THAN YOU DO!!!)

* You won’t have a life with this one. They have no respect; they will insult you / your mother in English and French and Arabic.

 3. GOLD DIGGERS (generally referred to as Weekend Accessories)

Advantages

* VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY GOOD IN BED (Holy Benjamin – Lord have mercy!!!Wow!!!!).

* She is sexy isn’t she? DAMN!!!

*To Make Matters Worse (Easy) She does Not Even Wear A Panty, You Got The Experience Mos!!!

Disadvantages

* She makes sure she leaves you penniless. (Airtime, lay-bye, dry clean,cosmetics)…and then spends the money on her "real" boyfriend.

* She tells you she is on a pill, but she is pregnant within 3 months of the relationship, Beware Maintenance Court is in your don’t Forget Z3(Aids).

* SHE makes you go to the matric dance !!!!

*When ever there’s a misunderstanding, she’s quick to say you’re using her (but it’s quite the opposite).

Yea, so I guess that pretty much sums it up. If I was a guy, I would go for the housewife. She can be handled. Or alternatively, go for all of them and have the best of the three worlds. But that means TRIPLE TROUBLE and STRESS. Life is unfair, isn't it?

Anyway, gotta go grab a cup-o-coffee before I fall asleep at this desk because that is looking like a very attractive option right about now.

As I sign out, booyah!