Women....... and children

"Do you have time to listen to me whine?..... I am one of those melodramatic fools." Aaaaah, I really need to stop listening to Rude Awakening in the morning. Now that song is stuck in my head. Curse you sweet, sweet rock music :/

Anyway, I just remembered some time back I was going to board a matatu (oh the perils of public transport) Now this particular one was so full that if I wanted to get in it would have had to share a seat with someone, most probably the conductor. Now the next one was empty and I had to wait until it fills up (as usual I had woken up late and as a result I was late to school) and I didn't have that time. Then some guy who had a very nice seat woke up and told me I could have his seat while he sat with the conductor. I was so jazzed (but in my head I was thinking 'How stupid of you', hehehehe) But yea, it got me thinking. We girls/women get away with a lot. We probably have it easier than we think. Below are some of the reasons we should be happy we do not have muscles (Serena Williams and co. excluded) and we do not grow beards (with the exception of lunch ladies).

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. Taxis stop for us.

3. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when we're dancing.

5. We can hug our friends without wondering if she's gay.

6. We can hug our friends without wondering if we're gay.

7. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

8. We can congratulate our team-mate without touching her butt.

9. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

10. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

11. We can say how hot Jessica Alba is without getting strange looks (guys, try saying how handsome DiCaprio is)

12. We don't have to change our own flat tires (though I will confess I don't mind)
13. We are never fed the stupid excuse of "Honey I have a headache."
14. We know when to just give in and get the plumber/mechanic.
15. No one has a problem when we scratch our boobs (balls in your case).

16. Whenever we want free lunch all we have to do is smile at the boss.
17. A bit of clevage can get you into a club.
18. We know how to pick up on hints (no, your boss was not serious when he said you can take the week off. He was being SARCASTIC dummy).
19. In our head, Halle Berry and Beyonce gat nu'n on us.
20. We do not let 22 grown men running after a ball break our hearts every week......... Hahahaha, okay, so not in my case. But most others.


And this reminds me. Kids are very intelligent. Very. This one time we had a family get-together (aka an excuse to meet and eat) and my small cousin and my aunt (her mother) were arguing. What about? My small cousin was telling her mum "Mummy, mummy, listen to me sing. I sing good." So her mum corrects her and tell her, it is well, not good, so "You sing well." My small cousin argued with her but gave up after some time. She then left and went looking for my granddad to showcase her vocals, lol. She found him and started singing then when she finished she looked at him with such sweet eyes waiting for his approval. So grandpapa goes "That was great. You are a very good singer." Now this following part had me close to tears in laughter. My cousin very confidently looks at my grandpa and shakes her head then says "No grandpa, you are wrong. I am not a good singer, I am a well singer!" Then she smiled so broadly and looked very self-satisfied. Nothing we could tell her after that could change her mind because "Mummy said so and mummy doesn't lie." Oh how good (or should I say well, hahaha) it is to be so young and naive.

As I finish up, I leave you with this one joke I saw and it just made my day.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

As I sign out, booyah!